It’s been a whopping six months since I last blogged. Obviously life threw me a couple monkey wrenches that derailed my literary plans for the last few weeks of 2023.

But that’s all right. Onward and upward.

Things around here are generally settling down, at least in terms of everyone’s immune systems. Mostly. Babycakes is just about over an allergy-induced ear infection. Sugarpie seems to have avoided the last cold of the school year. On top of having produced copeous amounts of nasal secretions for the last month, Little Bro has managed to pick up hand foot and mouth from somewhere unknown.

Freelancing hit a black for much of the past year, but things are looking up as I finally have a project slated to start later this week. I’m hopefully going to be participating in the next anthology from Lowcountry RWA (more on this down the road, fingers crossed). And I’ve got the post-Civil War historical romance in the hands of several beta readers in preparation for a fall submission.

But I didn’t come here today to talk about any of that.

I am here to discuss the onset of Toddler Temper Tantrums, version 3.0.

That’s right. Little Bro is into the tantrum stage of babyhood.

He’s actually got a rather extensive vocabulary for his age and is quite good at letting us know what he wants, needs, or feels.

But as parents across the world know, tantrums and meltdowns occur when a child does not have the verbal capacity to express their emotions in an adequate way.

Little Bro hasn’t been feeling well lately, understandably if you recall our house’s last brush with HFM disease in 2021. So that’s just made things worse. But yesterday… Ooooo boy.

So what set him off?

Well, lately he’s been rather obsessed with cleaning tools. Like mops. The electric sweeper. The Roomba (or at least he was until he pressed the button on top and accidentally started it, thus terrifying himself). The vacuum cleaner.

He also hates being confined and/or blocked or locked out of places.

Has that set the stage well enough?

I needed to run the vacuum cleaner in the living room, and he was insistant that he HAD to do it himself. This thing isn’t heavy, it’s a stick vac, but its length is like two and a half times his height, and it’s not like he can actually maneuver it.

I do hope his enthusiam for the vacuum (and the sweeper and emptying the dishwasher) continue into his teen years. I have my doubts, but we’ll see.

So I let him “help”. But he couldn’t really handle it, as expected, so he kept getting stuck in the corner and wouldn’t let me help him back up to try a different area of the floor. It boiled down to the floor needing to be vacuumed and me wanting to get it done so we could have lunch and a nap. So I just kind of took it away from him and tried to finish as quickly as possible, while Little Bro, wailing indignantly, chased me around the room.

At last, the job was done. I put the vacuum away. We had actually had to add a child safety lock/strap to the closet door, so he was doubly mad when I put it in there.

And then, I told him quite lovingly that we were all done.

Well.

This was clearly the most tragical injustice of the not-quite seventeen months he’s been alive. He wasn’t just crying. He wasn’t just yelling.

This boy was voicing his abject despondency at the top of his lungs – for a full twenty minutes – while alternating between trying to open the closet door and just running about the house with his head thrown back, wailing.

So what did I, his loving mother, do?

I laughed my ass off.

Sorry. It was the most hilarious thing.

I legit got to the point where I could neither stand up straight nor produce any actual sound while laughing.

Eventually I got him upstairs, where my mom (whom he calls “memaw” right now, but that’s another story for another day), read him some of his favorite books while I got lunch ready.

Of course, we are also gluttons for punishment around here. So after dinner, I decided Little Bro’s epic hair was a little too epic and took the hair clippers to his curls. Which meant more vacuuming.

This time I just put him in the playpen, so at least he wasn’t chasing me and getting tripped up on the cord while he voiced his displeasure.

Then today he gave us an encore performance because I took away the bottle of baby gas drops.

Fun times.

A few weeks ago, I talked about how Sugarpie came down with a nasty bout of hand foot and mouth disease right at the end of the summer.

It was not a fun time. After that first horrible night of no sleep, we were rather on the downswing. At least in terms of how Sugarpie would fair.

The Triage Nurse Provides Reassurance and Guidance

The night before the triage nurse at the pediatrician’s office called to give a diagnosis based on the picture’s I’d sent in, I did a bit of my own research into what to expect. The nurse confirmed that the only thing we could really do at this point was try to keep Sugarpie comfortable.

This would involve dosing with ibuprofen and using moisturizer to help prevent itchiness as the blisters began to heal.

She also shared that once the blisters/rash appeared, that usually meant the child is far less contagious, if not past the point of passing on the virus at all, than in the days leading up to the fever and eruption of the rash.

I also asked about the risk to Babycakes. The nurse said that, with older kids, HFMD is usually a mild issue that may or may not present with any symptoms. She advised us to expect a possible fever and maybe one or two blisters, if anything.

Here Comes the Internet to the Rescue

With Sugarpie recovering from her sleepless night and on the mend, I was in search of the best ways to help her blisters heal with the least amount of itching. The last thing I wanted was for her to scratch and cause an infection or scarring. Fortunately since it was super warm, I didn’t have to worry about socks or shoes, and we were able to dress her comfortably in softer cotton clothes. She didn’t get to go on foot for walks, though she was pretty content to be pushed about in the stroller when we went out for air.

I’d already learned the great things about colloidal oatmeal as it pertains to soothing eczema (which has always shown up during the cold winter months in little patches on Babycakes since she was tiny). I already had a little tub of Aveeno nighttime eczema balm, and we’d used some of their colloidal oatmeal bath packets in the past when Babycakes had mollescum contagiosum. A trip to Target replenished our stock of both, along with a bottle of Aveeno colloidal oatmeal body wash.

I also turned to one of my Facebook mom-groups to see if anyone had any other suggestions. Multiple people suggested colloidal silver, which I’d never heard of. It comes in gel, sprays, and drops. People also apparently take the latter version as a dietary supplement as it can help boost the immune system.

I opted for the gel version, since reports said it stayed put better. It dries pretty fast, which was excellent for Sugarpie’s diaper area after her HFMD rash went crazy there. (BTW, that’s a commonly affected area in babies and toddlers.)

I’m not sure if the lotion, body wash, bath packets, and colloidal silver did anything or if it was just the passage of time. But within a few days, Sugarpie’s rash lessened and the blisters began to heal.

The other thing I learned about is that, in babies and toddlers, a symptom of HFMD that is often unrealized or overlooked is that it can cause stomachaches and muscle pain. Headaches are common, as is a sore throat (usually due to sores in the mouth and throat) and loss of appetite. Luckily, Sugarpie didn’t have any issues eating or nursing. But I’d never heard of HFMD causing muscle pain, but that certainly would have explained why she had such a terrible night that Tuesday.

I, of course, felt even worse for how grumpy (to put it mildly) I’d been to her that night.

It Spreads

Sugarpie was soon on the mend, but HFMD wasn’t done with us yet.

About two days later, Babycakes crawled into bed with us and said she had a terrible headache. This is a kid who does NOT complain about headaches and downplays feeling crappy when she has a cold. So I knew something was up. Her temp was indeed high – over 101ºF. I dosed her with ibuprofen, and we spent the day pumping her with fluids and letting her rest. I made her take a nap that afternoon while Sugarpie was sleeping.

Well, I made her relax in her room with a book while I got her sister down for her nap. Then I made her lay down in the dark and cool for an hour. She fell asleep and I let her nap for almost two hours.

She was fine the next day, but I think that was her bout with it.

But then it was Mommy’s turn.

I felt absolutely awful the Saturday after Sugarpie’s Night from Hell. Headache, chills, general malaise. I knew what was coming. I even stayed home from church the next day (not that we were bringing Sugarpie, so we’d originally planned to go in shifts, anyway).

By Monday morning, I, too, had blisters popping out on my hands and feet. My feet, in fact, were on FIRE. I used the colloidal silver and also did a foot soak with epsom salts, which is another soothing option for older kids and adults (not recommended for babies and toddlers).

But within a few more days, we were all on the mend and just had to deal with the aftermath.

As a parent, one of the toughest things to deal with is illness in your child. It’s doubly hard when said child is too young to actually tell you what hurts or how they feel bad.

A few weeks ago, just as summer vacation was winding down at our house, we experienced the joy (or lack thereof) that is hand food and mouth disease (HFMD). We’re still not sure exactly where Sugarpie picked it up, though we have some suspicions.

(Here she is, on the beach at sunrise, because why would you let your parents sleep in while you’re all on vacation? At this point, she was feeling pretty awesome.)

It was a rough couple of weeks for all of us. It turns out that HFMD is not only very contagious but also quite prevalent in the summer and fall. I’m honestly not sure how we avoided it up until now. But we did, even during those three-ish months when Babycakes went to daycare when I first went back to work.

There’s a lot to this story, so in the interest of being slightly less verbiose than I can be about these things, this is going to be a multi-parter. But hopefully by the end of the second installment, I’ll have given other parents some insight into how our experience went down, how we helped our little one get through it, and what the lingering – and somewhat surprising – aftereffects can look like.

The Night It All Started

The Monday after we got home from the beach, Sugarpie had a bit of a restless stretch in the middle of the night. Her temperature was a bit elevated, but I knew this only by touch and my instincts. Still, I got her back to sleep, and we went on with our lives. She seemed no worse for wear the next day.

Now, Sugarpie is not the greatest sleeper in the world, and never has been. (Hello, newborn colic.) But we knew something was going on when she just would not sleep at all the next night.

By Tuesday, we were almost back to the normal routine. You know, waking up at 6:30 instead of before-the-crack-of-dawn o’clock and getting to bed around 8pm. I’d gotten Sugarpie to sleep in our normal way (nursing, don’t judge me), but as soon as I moved to lay her in the crib, she woke up and went totally ballistic.

Like, screaming, arching her back, not letting ANYBODY hold her. She nursed on and off but would just not go to sleep. The hubs tried. My mother tried. My sister (who was visiting) would probably have tried if we begged.

She was awake for THREE HOURS.

Maybe more, I don’t know. But she did finally go to sleep and I was finally able to lay her down in the crib and go to bed myself.

But then she woke up screaming again after less than two hours. And was awake, once more, for like three hours. Maybe more. I’m not sure. All I know is that by 5am, I had not slept at all.

Side note: I am not the most sympathetic person in the middle of the night as it is. I like my sleep and I haven’t had enough solid nights of it in over two years. I am ashamed to admit that I am, thus, not a great parent in the middle of the night. I get irritated, impatient, and overwhelmed in ways that just do not manifest when the sun is up. It does not help that Sugarpie refuses to let her Most Awesomest Daddy even pick her up between sunset and sunrise, so in spite of his best efforts and desire to help, middle of the night parenting falls mostly on me.

Desperate, I brought Sugarpie into bed with us and let her nurse for an hour straight. She fell asleep, I may have dozed a bit. But as soon as I unlatched her to try and bring her back to her room, she woke up and it was all over.

She had totalled about three hours and forty-five minutes of sleep all night long. I had logged exactly zero hours of sleep.

I took her for a “rage walk” at 6:30 in the morning, angry and exhausted and praying she would fall asleep in the stroller for maybe just a half hour. I do not get up for exercise of any sort, so that just shows how desperate I had become.

Desperate Mama Wants Answers

Again, Sugarpie has never slept through the night, ever. We’ve had a nine hour stretch a couple times, but she always wakes up at least once a night. But that Tuesday night was HORRIBLE.

The Worst. Night. Of. Her. Entire. Life.

And that includes the stretch of six-ish weeks when she had colic as a newborn.

I knew something had to be wrong, because why would she not sleep? I mean, she wouldn’t even fall asleep NURSING, which is like . . . guaranteed. So I made an appointment with the pediatrician, but the earliest appointment I could get was the next day. I swore up and down that I needed to take her to urgent care, but outside of the total lack of sleep, nothing would really indicate any reason to bring her to the doctor at all. So I cancelled the appointment.

I was not the best at parenting that day. I think my mother may have sent me back to bed for a little while, as my sister was still visiting and was happy to entertain Babycakes while my mom took care of Sugarpie.

Diagnosis

Then the blisters started.

At first it was just a couple here and there on her hands, arms, and legs.

Not even her feet, really. She had a couple of bug bites from our trip to the beach that hadn’t really healed yet, so initially I thought the little bumps were just more bug bites. And then I noticed more little raised red bumps on her chin and cheeks.

But as I got a better look at them, I started to realize they looked more like the rash that shows up during a HFMD infection. I’d researched it a few years ago when there was an outbreak at Babycakes’s preschool, so I knew what to look for.

Wednesday afternoon, I sent some pics to the pediatrician. The triage nurse called me back the next morning.

Yes, it’s HFMD.

So we are struggling a bit with Sugarpie’s sleep. Not that she doesn’t sleep. She does. Naps are good. She will fall asleep in her crib at bedtime, though I have to keep both hands on her until she’s out cold. She usually resettles after a night feeding. It’s just that there are like….seventy-five of those.

Okay, not that many, but it feels like it sometimes.

Some of you that have been here a while may recall the angst I went through with Babycakes when it came to her nighttime sleep. I know a thing or two now, particularly the fact that this WILL get better with time and patience. It’s just rough while you’re in the trenches, ya know?

Anyway…. There are so many really great websites and books out there that advise having a very consistent, soothing bedtime routine that sets the stage for a great night of sleep for everyone.

When it comes to Sugarpie, however, some of that advice doesn’t pan out like the “experts” say it should.

Here we go.

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 1: Give baby a soothing bath.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 2: Apply lotion as part of a baby massage.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime routine Step 3: Put on a fresh overnight diaper.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 4: Dress baby in comfy jammies.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 5: Give baby a final feeding.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 6: Read a book with your baby.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 7: Lights out, lullaby and snuggles

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 8: Lay baby down awake

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 9: Get Thee to Bed, Mama, and pray that there is no night gap.