Let Me Talk to Y’all About Hand Foot & Mouth Disease (Part 1)

September 25, 20211 Comment

As a parent, one of the toughest things to deal with is illness in your child. It’s doubly hard when said child is too young to actually tell you what hurts or how they feel bad.

A few weeks ago, just as summer vacation was winding down at our house, we experienced the joy (or lack thereof) that is hand food and mouth disease (HFMD). We’re still not sure exactly where Sugarpie picked it up, though we have some suspicions.

(Here she is, on the beach at sunrise, because why would you let your parents sleep in while you’re all on vacation? At this point, she was feeling pretty awesome.)

It was a rough couple of weeks for all of us. It turns out that HFMD is not only very contagious but also quite prevalent in the summer and fall. I’m honestly not sure how we avoided it up until now. But we did, even during those three-ish months when Babycakes went to daycare when I first went back to work.

There’s a lot to this story, so in the interest of being slightly less verbiose than I can be about these things, this is going to be a multi-parter. But hopefully by the end of the second installment, I’ll have given other parents some insight into how our experience went down, how we helped our little one get through it, and what the lingering – and somewhat surprising – aftereffects can look like.

The Night It All Started

The Monday after we got home from the beach, Sugarpie had a bit of a restless stretch in the middle of the night. Her temperature was a bit elevated, but I knew this only by touch and my instincts. Still, I got her back to sleep, and we went on with our lives. She seemed no worse for wear the next day.

Now, Sugarpie is not the greatest sleeper in the world, and never has been. (Hello, newborn colic.) But we knew something was going on when she just would not sleep at all the next night.

By Tuesday, we were almost back to the normal routine. You know, waking up at 6:30 instead of before-the-crack-of-dawn o’clock and getting to bed around 8pm. I’d gotten Sugarpie to sleep in our normal way (nursing, don’t judge me), but as soon as I moved to lay her in the crib, she woke up and went totally ballistic.

Like, screaming, arching her back, not letting ANYBODY hold her. She nursed on and off but would just not go to sleep. The hubs tried. My mother tried. My sister (who was visiting) would probably have tried if we begged.

She was awake for THREE HOURS.

Maybe more, I don’t know. But she did finally go to sleep and I was finally able to lay her down in the crib and go to bed myself.

But then she woke up screaming again after less than two hours. And was awake, once more, for like three hours. Maybe more. I’m not sure. All I know is that by 5am, I had not slept at all.

Side note: I am not the most sympathetic person in the middle of the night as it is. I like my sleep and I haven’t had enough solid nights of it in over two years. I am ashamed to admit that I am, thus, not a great parent in the middle of the night. I get irritated, impatient, and overwhelmed in ways that just do not manifest when the sun is up. It does not help that Sugarpie refuses to let her Most Awesomest Daddy even pick her up between sunset and sunrise, so in spite of his best efforts and desire to help, middle of the night parenting falls mostly on me.

Desperate, I brought Sugarpie into bed with us and let her nurse for an hour straight. She fell asleep, I may have dozed a bit. But as soon as I unlatched her to try and bring her back to her room, she woke up and it was all over.

She had totalled about three hours and forty-five minutes of sleep all night long. I had logged exactly zero hours of sleep.

I took her for a “rage walk” at 6:30 in the morning, angry and exhausted and praying she would fall asleep in the stroller for maybe just a half hour. I do not get up for exercise of any sort, so that just shows how desperate I had become.

Desperate Mama Wants Answers

Again, Sugarpie has never slept through the night, ever. We’ve had a nine hour stretch a couple times, but she always wakes up at least once a night. But that Tuesday night was HORRIBLE.

The Worst. Night. Of. Her. Entire. Life.

And that includes the stretch of six-ish weeks when she had colic as a newborn.

I knew something had to be wrong, because why would she not sleep? I mean, she wouldn’t even fall asleep NURSING, which is like . . . guaranteed. So I made an appointment with the pediatrician, but the earliest appointment I could get was the next day. I swore up and down that I needed to take her to urgent care, but outside of the total lack of sleep, nothing would really indicate any reason to bring her to the doctor at all. So I cancelled the appointment.

I was not the best at parenting that day. I think my mother may have sent me back to bed for a little while, as my sister was still visiting and was happy to entertain Babycakes while my mom took care of Sugarpie.

Diagnosis

Then the blisters started.

At first it was just a couple here and there on her hands, arms, and legs.

Not even her feet, really. She had a couple of bug bites from our trip to the beach that hadn’t really healed yet, so initially I thought the little bumps were just more bug bites. And then I noticed more little raised red bumps on her chin and cheeks.

But as I got a better look at them, I started to realize they looked more like the rash that shows up during a HFMD infection. I’d researched it a few years ago when there was an outbreak at Babycakes’s preschool, so I knew what to look for.

Wednesday afternoon, I sent some pics to the pediatrician. The triage nurse called me back the next morning.

Yes, it’s HFMD.

Baby Bedtime Advice vs. Baby Bedtime Reality

August 28, 2020Leave a comment

So we are struggling a bit with Sugarpie’s sleep. Not that she doesn’t sleep. She does. Naps are good. She will fall asleep in her crib at bedtime, though I have to keep both hands on her until she’s out cold. She usually resettles after a night feeding. It’s just that there are like….seventy-five of those.

Okay, not that many, but it feels like it sometimes.

Some of you that have been here a while may recall the angst I went through with Babycakes when it came to her nighttime sleep. I know a thing or two now, particularly the fact that this WILL get better with time and patience. It’s just rough while you’re in the trenches, ya know?

Anyway…. There are so many really great websites and books out there that advise having a very consistent, soothing bedtime routine that sets the stage for a great night of sleep for everyone.

When it comes to Sugarpie, however, some of that advice doesn’t pan out like the “experts” say it should.

Here we go.

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 1: Give baby a soothing bath.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 2: Apply lotion as part of a baby massage.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime routine Step 3: Put on a fresh overnight diaper.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 4: Dress baby in comfy jammies.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 5: Give baby a final feeding.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 6: Read a book with your baby.

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 7: Lights out, lullaby and snuggles

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 8: Lay baby down awake

Sugarpie:

Baby Bedtime Routine Step 9: Get Thee to Bed, Mama, and pray that there is no night gap.

Let’s Talk About Sleep Sacks

June 29, 2020Leave a comment

I decided a while back that, since I’m doing the baby thing for a second time, it might just be that I have some advice – at least in terms of baby gear – that might help some moms out as they are thinking about what they need or want for their littles.

Since I am once again in the throes of sleep training (and it’s not going particularly well), I thought I’d start off by sharing some suggestions for sleepsacks and swaddling.

Sugarpie is long out of the swaddle, and there are many schools of thought on the swaddle (to swaddle, not to swaddle) and on sleepsacks in general. But here are some items we gave a go (and how it went).

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The Point of Swaddles and Sleepsacks

Sleepsacks come in all styles, prints, and fabrics, and every mom has her favorites. The general purpose of them is to provide a layer of warmth for baby without having to resort to loose blankets in the crib, which can be a major risk factor for SIDS. Toddlers benefit from sleepsacks because they can’t be kicked off, which makes it a little easier when trying to keep your kiddo warm at night, especially in the winter.

As far as swaddling goes, the idea is that a snug swaddle helps supress baby’s Moro reflex (that “jerky” thing babies do in their sleep), also known as the startle reflex. This reflex is something baby will grow out of by 4 to 6 months of age, but while it’s present can be a cause for premature waking from a nap or at night. Swaddling technique is tied to the swaddling product, and while some baby’s do fine without being swaddled, most need some sort of swaddling for at least the first couple months of life.

Incidentally, the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends to stop swaddling at 8 weeks of age, if baby is showing signs of rolling from back to belly, OR if baby CAN roll over, as this is a major safety risk in a swaddle. Every baby is different; our pediatrician gave us the thumbs up to keep swaddling Sugarpie when we went to our 4 months well child check. Her startle reflex was still super strong at that point, she still slept in our room and I was hypersensitive to her every move and sound, and she wasn’t rolling yet. (I have since decided that, like her father, she is just a restless sleeper.)

Swaddling and Swaddlesacks

If you are in the swaddle-baby camp, there are a lot of options out there. Many people like going with standard swaddle blankets, which are usually made from muslin or some other type of breathable material that has some give to it. It’s also helpful to have a swaddle blanket that’s on the larger size, as it gives you the ability to swaddle more securely and longer for larger babies.

There are many different ways to swaddle using a blanket, but the key is to make sure that the swaddle is snug, the fabric is well away from baby’s face, and that baby can’t break out. (Some babies break out but still need to have that swaddled feeling – if they’re breaking out of a traditional swaddle blanket, you may need to consider a different product.)

So what are Your Options?

There are a bunch of different brands out there that offer a swaddle sack, which is a sleepsack that has attached “wings” of some sort that easily swaddle with velcro. They’re pretty foolproof. I have personally been a fan of the Halo sacks since Babycakes was a newborn. They come in different fabrics, from cotton to microfleece. I also liked that when you ARE ready to transition baby, you can do so with these sacks by leaving the arms out and swaddling around the chest, so baby still has that snuggly feeling. While the swaddle sacks only come in newborn and small sizes, the line of Halo sacks goes all the way up to size 5t “Big Kids”. So if you like them, you can use them for a long time.

But Sugarpie was a crap sleeper, and I was desperate to figure out how to help her get some sleep. Early on, I tried out this all-in-one style sack from SwaddleDesigns, that gave us the option of arms in or arms out but up. It was a reaaaally nice sleepsack, but it only comes in size 0-3 months. So unless you have a super small baby, you’ll size out of this pretty quick, like we did.

Another option for babies who like to sleep with arms up so they can self-soothe, but still need some resistance, is the Love to Dream SwaddleUp sack. This particular brand even offers a style where you can remove the “wings” to help baby transition to a regular sleepsack. For us, unfortunately, Sugarpie didn’t like to have her arms restricted in the “touchdown” position, so we passed this particular product on to friends.

One product that seemed like an odd option, but ended up being the key to getting Sugarpie out of the swaddle once and for all, is the Zipadee Zip. It’s this sort of weird starfish-shaped design, with hands in. It allows for very free movement, a great thing if your baby is rolling or mobile in any other way as it provides the free range of motion necessary to make it safe. But because of its design, it provides “edges”, if you will, so the baby still feels secure. If your baby is on the smaller side, Sleeping Baby (the company) also sells a Snuggle Strap, which is basically a velcro belt that goes under baby’s arms to cinch the fabric of the Zipadee Zip to give more resistance.

The Zipadee Zip comes in several fabric options, from a light polyester summer weight to microfleece for winter. I started off with the summer weight Zippy and the Snuggle Strap, but ended up liking the regular cotton sack better. As Sugarpie grew, even without the Snuggle Strap she was nice and secure and snuggly. The fact that her hands were covered were bonus points, because she couldn’t scratch her face. Plus she liked to suck on the ends of the hand points. My only beef with the Zipadee Zip is that, unlike most sleepsacks, the zipper is not two directional, so middle of the night diaper changes can be tricky.

The Nested Bean Zen line of products offers a weighted sack option that safely provides a little extra comfort (so the company professes) to your baby. In addition to standard style sacks, Nested Bean also offers a swaddle sack, onesies, and jammies with their patented weighted “chick” design.

I guess they kind of work like weighted blankets would for adults. We tried out the Zen Sack, but did not get the “miracle” of 8+ hours of sleep within a week like the ads promised. In fact, the first time we tried sleeping Sugarpie in the Zen sack, she kind of hated it. (Maybe if we had used the swaddle sack initially, I don’t know.) Eventually, I figured out that layering the Zen sack over the Zipadee Zip worked well at night (both in terms of layers and security). And then the Zen sack just turned into a really nice sleepsack. The fabric is a soft cotton that washes well, and the zipper goes around the seam, rather than up the front of the body. We’ve grown out of the size we have, but I will not be buying another.

If you are looking for a transitional swaddle product, there are others besides the Zipadee Zip, SwaddleUp, and Zen Sack that many parents love. The Merlin Magic Sleep Suit, besides making your baby look like the State Puff Marshmallow Man, is an option that supresses the startle reflex but allows baby access to their hands for self-soothing. But once baby is rolling, you have to ditch the Merlin. (We tried this for Babycakes, to no avail. Plus she sized out of it really fast.) Other families love the Woombie line of products.

Once your baby is out of the swaddle completely, there are a lot of regular sleepsack options out there. As I said earlier, we are fans of the Halo line of products, but there are options out there from just about every baby sleepwear company you can think of, at a price point for just about everyone. Sometimes you have to see what your baby likes, or you can just decide on a brand and stick with it.

Now as for actual baby sleep, that’s a whole different post…

The Light at the End of the Fourth Trimester

February 29, 2020Leave a comment

Sugarpie is quickly approaching her 3-month birthday, and the official end if the newborn phase. And, oh my gosh, what a phase it has been!

For those that don’t know, the first three months of a baby’s life are now often referred to as the “fourth trimester”, a period when baby wants and needs to be kept close – preferably to Mom – under conditions that closely mimic life in the womb. The idea is that this period is a time when parents gently help a baby transition to this big, loud, bright world we live in.

Every baby is different, and so it has been with Sugarpie and her big sister. To be fair, I honestly don’t remember a whole lot about Babycakes’s newborn days. But their temperaments have been different from the start.

We have dealt with mild colic and gassiness (which thankfully seems to be abating for the most part). We have dealt with inconsolable crying, which is now termed “purple crying” (perhaps to make parents feel better). We went from ridiculous all-day sleeping to “We don’t need no stinkin’ naps!”

The sleep is one area where Babycakes and Sugarpie have some similarities. Babycakes was a crap napper, and we struggled with night sleep for a long time (those of you who have been with me for a while will recall my lamentations on sleep training, etc.). While Babycakes was sleeping 10-11 hours straight at night by about 10 weeks before going back to multiple night wakings from about 4 months until 15 months, Sugarpie still wakes once or twice a night to eat. I usually get a big chunk of 5-6 hours (once she went 7!) at the start of the night, so that has helped me immensely. But the lack of good naps (I mean, longer than 10-20 minutes, I kid ye not) makes it hard to get anything done during the day. I know naps will get better, because they did for Babycakes, but it does make it hard.

Temperament is very different, too. Babycakes was a content baby who displayed almost no interest in moving on her own for the longest time. I would put toys just out of reach to entice her to roll over, watch her get 3/4 of the way from back to tummy, and I could seriously see the moment when she decided the toy just wasn’t worth it. She didn’t crawl until 8 months and didn’t walk until 14 months. Sugarpie, however, is in constant motion and, other than that first bought of night sleep, isn’t really completely settled when she’s asleep. And she is just now starting to play reasonably well on her own for a little while (which gives me time to, you know, attend to nature’s call).

I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining, or trying to compare my kids. Both of my children are amazing blessings that I honestly didn’t think we would have. Maybe it’s because we were so far removed from the baby phase that it feels harder. And I know it will get better. Within a couple months, the naps will start consolidating (and I can perhaps get a regular schedule going for myself and my writing!), and life will become normal again – at least, whatever normal will be for us now.

My Goals for 2020

January 8, 2020January 8, 20206 Comments

2020 is upon us, and with it the obligitory Yearly Goal Setting Post.

This year, I’m piggybacking onto the Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge, hosted by Long and Short Reviews.

So what’s on tap for me this year? I’m trying to be conscious of the fact that I have a new baby, which obviously changes a lot in terms of how much time I have for any sort of goal setting. But here goes.

Writing

Obviously I want to try and do more writing this year. This includes submitting the historical romance that placed 2nd in three 2018 contests (yes, I know that was a goal last year, too). I also need to return to the first installment in my Sweet Somethings spinoff trilogy, which has sat in First Draft Limbo since last February.

This also incorporates freelancing. I had several excellent freelance writing gigs the past couple years and I want to keep that up, in addition to my independent contractor work with Newsela.

As an extension, I would love to finally set up a copyediting business as well. This has been sitting on my chairside table for over a year. I should probably start perusing it:

Ultimately I would love if I can make enough with my pen, so to speak, to cover Babycakes’s school expenses and maybe a little extra.

Reading More Books

Or just reading books.

Cooking

I love to cook and bake, but haven’t had time to do much of either since I went back to work in 2015.

Okay, since Babycakes was born and then we moved to Charlotte and most of my kitchen stuff stayed in boxes for almost a year.

Being a stay-at-home-mom again for a while will, eventually, give me time to cook and bake again like I used to. For now, it helps that I am now the owner of an Instant Pot:

Apparently I can make yogurt with it? I’m also interested in the fact that I can also apparently sterilze baby bottles with it.

Being Mommy

Of course this year, I want to focus once again on being Mommy. I am officially on maternity leave for the rest of the school year, and then we have to reevaluate our plans beyond that. But I have a 5 year old in kindergarten, and I want to volunteer at her school. And of course, Sugarpie is here.

I also hope to not only finish filling out Babycakes’s baby book, but also keeping up with Sugarpie’s.